Millie! Mail's here. Let's see. What do we have in the mail today? Bill, bill, bill, letter from mom, bill, bill, you have won, bill, bill…..wait. What was that? You have won ten million dollars. What? Is this a joke? Those hacks better not be pulling my leg. What does that say? Read inside for more information. Okay. 

The Win-a-Million House is please to announce that you have won ten million dollars.

You already told me that! I want my money! I want my money! 

You are the lucky person who Win-a-Million has chosen out of billions of eligible contestants. To claim you money you have to do two things….

Only two things? Wow! These people are so nice. 

The first thing that you have to do is place your 'I want my money sticker' on the red circle. If you place the sticker on the green circle or the blue circle then you are saying that you want us to give the money away to someone else.

That's not so hard. I have my sticker, now I have to place it on….(pause) Where is the red circle? There is the blue circle and the green circle but I don't see the red circle. What? Is this some kind of trick.Some trick to make me all excited and now I can't find the circle? Get me all excited……oh there it is. 

After you place the sticker on the right circle, just fill out this form and send it back as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the longer it will take to get your money to you.

Got to do this right away. Let's see. Name? Okay. Address? Okay. Phone number? Boy, they sure want to know a lot of info. Credit card number? Why would they want my credit card number? Well, I guess they know what they are doing. Magazines ordered? But I don't want any magazines. What is this? You have to order five magazines in order to be eligible for the ten million dollars? Well okay.

Now, if you are done all of the steps, put all of the information in the self addressed envelope and in ten to twenty years your ten million dollars will arrive.

We're going to be rich! Millie we're going to be rich! I'm going to the mail box Millie! We're rich, we're rich, we're rich! 

C. Clarke

Originally Published Scenes For High School Drama Students
April, 1998